Why Emotional Management Is Key to Thriving as a Leader
As leaders, we’re often expected to keep it all together. Whether at work or home, we navigate complex emotions daily—some are uplifting, some overwhelming, and others so intense they can leave us paralysed. Yet, many of us have become experts at suppressing these emotions, thinking that it’s what’s required to stay strong and capable.
But what happens when we don't allow ourselves to truly feel these big emotions? The answer is one that many leaders have faced but few talk about—burnout, health issues, and emotional breakdowns.
In this blog, I’ll share my personal journey through emotional suppression and explore why emotional management—not control—is the key to thriving, both as a leader and in life.
My Story: The Consequences of Suppressing Emotions
For as long as I can remember, I was the one keeping everything together. The calm in the storm, the one everyone could rely on. And while I was there for everyone else, I wasn’t there for myself. Instead of dealing with my emotions, I kept them at bay, believing that if I buried them deep enough, I could continue to be strong for others.
Six months after my father passed away, I found myself in the emergency room with atrial fibrillation—the very condition that had caused his death. To make matters worse, I was in the same hospital, with a doctor about to administer the same medication that had taken his life.
How did I get to this point? Burnout.
I had buried all my emotions—grief, stress, the constant strain of being the “strong one”—until my body could no longer take it. The result? A complete physical and emotional breakdown.
The Dangers of Emotional Control
This experience forced me to confront a truth that I had been ignoring for far too long: emotional control—suppressing and ignoring my feelings—was not the answer.
We’ve all been taught to “keep calm and carry on,” especially in leadership roles. But the reality is that suppressed emotions don’t disappear. As psychologist Susan David so wisely says, “emotions suppressed don’t disappear; they grow stronger and more amplified.”
When we ignore our emotions, we may feel like we’re staying composed on the outside, but internally, those emotions intensify, eventually manifesting in burnout, stress-related health issues, and strained relationships.
This is the hidden cost of emotional suppression—what seems like strength is actually the path to emotional and physical collapse.
Emotional Management: The Key to Thriving
Emotional management, on the other hand, is about acknowledging, experiencing, and processing our emotions. It’s not about pushing them aside or pretending they don’t exist—it’s about giving them the attention they need so that we can regulate our responses and handle life’s challenges with clarity and resilience.
When we manage our emotions, we’re not just surviving—we’re thriving. We’re able to lead from a place of emotional stability, respond thoughtfully to high-pressure situations, and, most importantly, protect our own well-being.
This distinction between emotional control and emotional management is crucial for leaders who want to foster sustainable success. Emotional resilience begins with understanding, not avoiding, our emotional landscape.
Why Emotional Management Is Critical for Leaders
As leaders, we set the tone for our teams. If we’re suppressing our emotions and just powering through, we may be unintentionally encouraging our teams to do the same. Over time, this can lead to a culture of burnout and diminished well-being across the organisation.
Instead, when we practice emotional management, we model a healthier approach. We show that acknowledging and processing emotions isn’t a weakness; it’s a strength. This approach fosters a more supportive, resilient work environment—one where both leaders and their teams can thrive.
Are You Managing or Controlling Your Emotions?
If you’re always the one keeping it all together for everyone else, it’s time to ask yourself: Are you managing your emotions, or are you simply controlling them?
True leadership begins with emotional resilience, and emotional resilience begins with emotional management. When we give ourselves the space to experience and process our emotions, we create the conditions for sustainable success—not just for ourselves, but for those we lead.
Moving Forward: Practical Steps for Emotional Management
If my story resonates with you, consider taking the time to reflect on your own emotional habits. Are you giving yourself permission to feel and process your emotions, or are you suppressing them to stay in control?
True leadership begins with emotional resilience, and emotional resilience begins with emotional management. When we give ourselves the space to experience and process our emotions, we create the conditions for sustainable success—not just for ourselves, but for those we lead.
Here are some practical strategies for developing emotional management skills:
- Acknowledge your emotions: Don’t ignore how you feel. Whether positive or negative, allow yourself to experience your emotions fully.
- Practice self-compassion: Recognise that emotions are a natural part of life and leadership. Be kind to yourself as you navigate them.
- Create a support system: Surround yourself with people you trust who can provide emotional support and perspective. Don’t carry everything alone.
- Set aside time for reflection: Journaling or mindfulness practices can help you process emotions and regulate your responses.
- Invest in your well-being: Emotional management is deeply connected to physical well-being. Take care of your body through regular exercise, good nutrition, and restorative practices.
These steps may seem simple, but they are powerful tools that can help prevent burnout and lead to a more resilient, emotionally intelligent leadership style.
Thriving Through Emotional Management
Thriving as a leader isn’t about suppressing emotions; it’s about managing them in a way that supports both your personal well-being and your leadership effectiveness. Emotional management is the key to not just surviving the pressures of leadership, but truly thriving in them.
If you’ve been keeping it all together for everyone else, now is the time to start being there for yourself. Emotional resilience starts from within, and the stronger we are emotionally, the better we can lead with empathy, clarity, and purpose.
Emotional Intelligence in a capability that can be developed. Contact us to find out how.
